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Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but I swear, one chick said she’d only hook up if I barked like a dog—fuckin loco, right? Told her, “I’m Tony Montana, I don’t bark, I bite!” Sex-dating’s a trip, mang—half the time you laugh, half the time you wanna shoot somebody. “This is all we need,” Eve says—nah, I need a chica who don’t catfish me with 10-year-old pics. Stay real out there, or Tony’s comin’ for ya—say hello to my little friend!

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So, I keep walking, trying to shake it off. I hit up the street food stalls on Yangjaecheon-ro. You know, the ones with the tteokbokki and hotteok? I grab a stick of tteokbokki, and it’s spicy as hell! I’m sweating bullets, but it’s so good. I’m like, “Why do I do this to myself?” But I can’t stop. It’s like a love-hate thing.

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